April 30, 2022
i am saddened when i find myself unwilling or unable to communicate.
Sometimes it is because i lack respect. Other times it’s my failure to trust.
If i muster the patience i can listen, consider, hold my knee jerk responses while listening, wait to respond, acknowledge the other’s points, look on the bright side and maybe, just maybe, approve their points with a smile.
Communication is all about patience. Impatience leads to frustration, anger and impasse.
I exercise patience in my communications through respectful debate.
Rather than dictate my point of view i express my opinion with an example of how it works for me.
I will say:
“When i found myself in that situation i found that this course of action resolved my dilemma.”
“This is the best way to resolve that problem.”
In a conversation, don’t disagree…. counterpoint.
“i see that is true, but how would this alternative work in your situation?”
Use positive body language.
Retain eye contact.
Limit sarcasm, some people don’t understand sarcasm anyway.
Justify your point of view with logic.
Sight opinions of respected people.
Know but don’t push statistics.
Support your assertions.
Assign values to variables.
Trust your opponent.
Respect the other point of view.
Combine both your ideas to hybrid your understanding.
A sure way to derail a conversation is to raise your voice. When visiting in Mexico years ago i heard a tourist yelling in English at a store vendor. The vendor did not understand English any better when the tourist yelled. The vendor did not understand English at any volume. The souvenir was not sold.
Lying is an act of desperation.
Admit to not having the knowledge.
As annoying as looking something up on Google can be, it can lead to a common resolution.
The focus of education used to be memorization. Nowadays we carry the memories of the human race in our pocket. Couching a question in the correct search terms is more important than the facts you know.
A well constructed search string is the modern form of consideration.
When faced with impasse, agree to disagree.
Also, agree to look into it further. A goal set is better than a communication gap.
Call back your assertions to form a conclusion. Reiterate, but don’t rehash your best points. Let the other know you are summarizing and not just repeating.
Keep on keeping on with the communication until a conclusion or an impasse is reached.
Always depart as friends.