Episode #838
February 22, 2025
The richness of conversation is dependent on every participant.
My greatest flaw when engaged in conversation is deference to my interlocutor.
When interrupted I switch my focus from what I am saying to what is injected. This, combined with a fading short term memory often results in a lost of my train of thought.
Sometimes the interrupter is finishing my sentence. This shocking moment is especially disruptive if the completion isn’t what I was going to say.
Mostly, I let the conversation veer off in the direction of my conversational partner.
And herein lies my second greatest flaw: thinking of what to say next while listening to my partner speak.
Sometimes I am just troubled with what I was saying before being interrupted. I try to let this go, since it is really not relevant anymore. Yet, I feel that if it were important enough for me to say I should be allowed to finish the thought.
This planning of what I will say next, distracts me from listening to the conversation. FOCUS is the key to communicating. Listening is the key to focus.
Long time partners are known for completing each other’s sentences. Most of the time they are correct, but sometimes they cut off key prepositional phrases. These critical qualifiers often cast a completely different or unexpected meaning to the sentence. I try to wait for the about, after, as, at, before, but, concerning, despite, except, from, in, like, of, on, past, regarding, since, to, until, via, or with. They all promise more and refined information.
Often my reply is more about the prepositional phrase than it is about the noun and verb.
The greater the engagement the richer the conversation.
Listen, smell, taste, touch and see the conversation before you think about it, then think and reply.
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Also very valuable:
https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/why-conversations-go-wrong/
Ditto x 100
So many good points identifying my own difficulties with conversations. Most of the time I will start in the middle of my thought and bury the lede.
The only useful thing I learned from Scientology was what they called a “communication gap.” It was the obligation of every human to reply to the comments of other humans. The time it took to respond was called a communication gap. This was a state of limbo, filled with tension, waiting for the response. I don’t agree with the policy because it is an unending loop, but it does require both parties to pay attention.
Absolutely!!
My doppelgänger!! And I thought I was the only one who struggled!!!
We have always been kindred spirits.